Point of View Columns

Weekend Fun – A Visit to Dante’s Inferno

It is virtually impossible to find much in the way of fun and humor in these times. Virtually impossible, but not impossible. Indeed, what better way to find fun and humor than to follow Dante’s guide to the 9 levels of Hell.

In keeping with that theme, we can start with each level, I will suggest three candidates for each level and you can add as many names as you like – and if you care to do so please share your selections as a comment.

Each Circle is set forth with the primary sin(s) of the denizens of each Circle. So here we go:

1st Circle – Limbo (the destination of all who are unbaptized and virtuous pagans

  • Since approximately 6.8 billion people on Earth are unbaptized, the 1st Circle will have open seating
  • All NFL linebackers are virtuous pagans (it is part of the job description)
  • All players in the National Hockey League (more virtuous pagans)
  • Your suggestion(s) ______________

     2nd Circle – Lust

  • Hugh Hefner – Hall of Fame
  • Bob Guccione – Hall of Fame
  • Larry Flynt- Hall of Fame
  • Your suggestion(s) ____________

3rd Circle – Gluttony

  • Paul Prudhomme – Not his cooking – it’s the 500 lbs.
  • Haystack Calhoun – Not his wrestling – it’s the 600 lbs.
  • Colonel Sanders – For encouraging around the world
  • Your suggestion(s)_____________

4th Circle – Greed

  • Ivan Boesky – Hall of Fame Wall Street robber baron
  • Elon Musk – Clearly, he will never have enough money
  • Gordon Gekko – Yes, he is a fictional character, so he will be going to a fictional hell
  • Your suggestion(s) _______________

5th Circle – Anger

  • Billy Martin – Seemed like he was always angry as a player and a manager
  • Bobby Knight – Throwing chairs earns him a reserved seat
  • Rand Paul – Seems like he is always angry, even when he isn’t
  • Your suggestions _______________

6th Circle – Heresy

  • Any religious leader who preaches “Prosperity Theology”
  • Joel Osteen – Hall of Fame
  • Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker – They worked hard to earn reserved seating
  • Your suggestions ________________

7th Circle – Violence

  • Hernan Cortes – Ask the Aztecs
  • Josef Stalin – Anyone who kills millions of people gets automatic entry
  • Adolf Hitler – See Josef Stalin
  • Your suggestions ____________

8th Circle – Fraud

  • All robocallers – Especially those who call senior citizens
  • Donald Trump – His ability to defraud in plain view for decades says it all
  • Bernie Madoff – See Donald Trump
  • Your suggestions ______________

9th Circle – Treachery

  • Donald Trump – The only resident of two levels- betraying an entire nation speaks for itself
  • Robert E. Lee -Betraying his oath to the United States and then leading an insurrection against the United States, all in the defense of slavery, earns him a richly deserved space for eternity
  • Richard Nixon – Betraying his oath as President of the United States and never speaking a word of repentance earns his space for eternity
  • Your suggestions _____________________

Of course, there are binders full of names that are highly qualified for a place in the Circles. You can agree, disagree or add additional names.

Enjoy.

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